Story
"Tom, you want one?" Marcus says holding up his pack of cigarettes. I shake my head 'no'.
Marcus and I have been friends since we were little, and even though he smokes, I've never felt pressure from him to smoke.
"We better go soon or Missy will come looking for us," I say to Marcus. My younger sister, Missy, walks home from school with us. I don't want her to see me with Marcus while he's smoking.
"You're not doing anything wrong," Marcus says.
"I guess," I say, but something does feel wrong.
On the way home I remember something our dad used to say when I was younger: "if you don't want anyone to know, don't do it." He used to tell me that when I would get in trouble and told him that I did it because it I didn't think anyone would find out.
It seems like his saying fits here, too. I don't want Missy to see me with Marcus when he's smoking because she might get the idea that I think smoking's okay. And I definitely don't want her to start smoking. So, if it feels this wrong, maybe I shouldn't be around Marcus when he smokes.
We get to Marcus's house. Before he goes inside I run up to him and tell him that tomorrow I'm going to find Missy first thing and not waiting for his cigarette break.
This week's maxim is "If you don't want anyone to know, don't do it."
TEACHER INFORMATION
Maxim
"If you don't want anyone to know, don't do it."Chinese Proverb
Featured Character Trait
Caring – I recognize that my actions affect others and I try to do what is best for them.Character Points (for substitution if this week's featured trait isn't one of your core values)
Honesty — I am a truthful person, in both my words and actions. I know that honesty requires telling the truth, not just avoiding telling lies.Responsibility — I know what I should do and what I should not do and my actions reflect that.
Self-control — I make decisions based on my beliefs; I do not let negative emotions get the better of me.
Discussion Starters
- Do you think Tom makes the right decision? Why or why not?
- Do you agree with why Tom makes the decision he does? Why or why not?
- If you were Marcus, what would you think of Tom's decision? Why?
- Do you think that Tom is right, that if Missy sees him with Marcus it seem okay for her to smoke? Explain your answer.
- What responsibilities does Tom have to Missy – that is what responsibilities do older siblings have for younger siblings?
- Is Tom being a good older brother? Why or why not?
- How is Tom demonstrating caring in this story?
- Do you agree with this week's maxim? Why or why not?
- How could this week's maxim be used to keep you from doing the right thing?
- Do you think that all people's opinions of you should matter equally?
HOME USE INFORMATION
5 tips for MAXIMizing your family time
- Older siblings don't always realize what kind of impact they have on their younger siblings. If you notice a negative influence, talk to your kids together and don't place blame. Try to work out as a family how to make the interaction positive.
- It is important to talk to your pre-teen about smoking. Be honest, and prepared to hear the truth. It might help to talk about the characters in the story first and then about your child.
- If your child won't talk to you about smoking or another sensitive topic, encourage him/her to talk to someone he/she trusts about it.
- If you want your older child to talk to your younger one about an important issue like smoking, talk the issue over with your older child first. Together come up with talking points that emphasize the family's values, but are said in your older child's words.
- Discuss role models with your children. Find out who they admire and why. Talk about positive and negative role models.
Discussion Starters
- What pressures is Tom feeling in this story? Which pressure is having the most impact on him? Why do you think this pressure impacts him the hardest?
- If you were Tom and Missy's parents, what decision would you want Tom to make?
- Do all people's opinions of you matter equally?
- Are there some people whom you would rather not disappoint? If so, who are they?
- Do you think Tom is trying to be a role model for his sister? Explain your answer.
- Who do you try to be a role model for?
- Who do you think looks up to you?
- Who in your family do you look up to?
Web Links
- CDC Health Youth: Tobacco Use http://www.cdc.gov/HealthyYouth/tobacco/index.htm
- Surgeon General's Report for Kids about Smoking http://www.cdc.gov/TOBACCO/SGR/sgr4kids/sgrmenu.htm
- Kids Health: Smoking http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/positive/talk/smoking.html
- Slate: "Hey Little Brother" (article) http://www.slate.com/id/2141628/
